I just wish I could sleep for more than 2 hrs.

 Without pain, without coughing, without indescribable nightmares.

Just sleep and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the battles.  

But alas, that seems to be to much to ask these days.

Some days it is  just hard to survive

But I will

Still working on the vest I want to give Sunshine for his birthday.  Tomorrow.

It refused to cooperate yesterday so it had a time out. 

I hope that it is ready to listen to reason now.

Just not in the mood to deal with people today

Not that any have come in for me to deal with

So, I am closing the shop, leaving early, and playing hooky

I have a birthday vest to sew , and I need tool buttons

Darn it!

The ice cream has smartmouthed me again and now I have it eat it!

http://media.oprah.com/sterm/KFC_Coupon_OprahWebsite.pdf

If that doesn’t work try, unthinkkfc.com

YUMMY!!!!

Lordy, I have got to get some sleep — right after I do the 6 errands I need to run tonight. 

Ok, so I am a slacker. 

Awhile back, one of our best Xangans – Saintvi - did a post on inexpensive weddings & wedding attire:                                  Part 1 was the dress.

Since I sell wedding dresses, veils, shoes, etc.  and completely agree that the prices are most often  ridiculous, and people lose site of what is realistic, I asked her if she would mind if I did a post from the retailer side of it and added a link to her post

She very graciously said that she would not mind at all.  So here is her link:

http://saintvi.xanga.com/698803717/an-inexpensive-wedding—pt1-the-dress/

And here is my post on the subject -(with apologies for the length) & hope that it l makes sense

Back in 2002 I was unemployed and terrified of job interviewing.  I went to a local women’s store to get a few things for the job hunt and struck up a conversation with the shop owner.

She was looking to sell or take a partner or something.  She claimed her health was bad.

For some fool reason, the idea of buying the shop got into my brain and I ended up buying it

I had worked retail for a few years – Kmart, Pic n Save, etc.  and customer service forever.

I was sure I could do it

The business was part bridal and formal. We bought the business on Aug 1, 2002

I had never so much as tried on a wedding dress.

I am so not girly and never understood the clothes horse culture.

We looked at some of the prices she had on wedding  dresses and accessories and almost died

WOW!

Surely she was just way out of line!  Prices just could not be this high could they?

So, we went off to our first bridal market.  Las Vegas the Market.

One of the largest bridal shows in the country.  Everything from bridal slips to tiara’s.

It was, to say the least, educational.

Pearls and white lace as far as the eye could see.  Slips and shoes. Veils and headpieces

Rail thin models paraded about in beautiful dresses and jewelry. 

No bride ever looked better on her wedding day than this ladies did at market. 

All sold by vendors hyping the dream experience and insisting that if you had just the right dress customers would beat down your door and pay any price to get it!

I thought I was going to be sick.

Dresses were wholesale at $300  $500  $700 and more !  Touted as being perfect for “a 2 to 3 time markup”. One vendor went so far as to say that when he got back from market he would show pictures of what he had purchased to his staff, and if they did not come up with the price at least that much then he had not done his job

We found a few vendors that had dresses in the $150 – $250 wholesale range for Wedding Dresses, and the $80 – $125 wholesale range for Bridesmaid and Mother of the Bride/Groom.  So with lumps in our throats we collected catalogs and placed orders – Shoes and jewelry. Slips and veils, we ordered it all and tried to believe it would work out.  We did not do triple or even double mark ups.  I couldn’t stomach that as a consumer, I wasn’t going to do it as a vendor.

Stores are required to order a minimum number of items per season to stay with a company.  This is done with a hope that the item sells because you have to pay for it even if it doesn’t.

Usually it is 8 to 10 dresses – wedding, or formal, and it cannot be combined.  It is that many of each type per season per company. This means 16 to 20 dresses per season  per company. Out of pocket, praying they sell.

Shoes is usually 5 pairs per season . 

Jewelry is usually a dollar amount – $200 – 300 wholesale per year

Veils and headpieces, 6 of each, again per season

So there is a huge layout of money, with an equally huge layout of hope for sales and  giant prayers that no damage comes to the items before they sell.

We have had dresses ruined by makeup, people stepping on them and tearing the lace, busting out zippers because they just knew the dress would zip, etc.

I decided that we would never, ever have a dress in the shop more than $350. No tiaras, veils,  or headpieces more than $75. No formal more than $180.  It  felt wrong then, and really  does now.

Bridal is a heartstring business.  It preys on girls/women and their families to have the best  of EVERYTHING! They  sell them the dream that if you buy inexpensive your wedding, and hence your marriage is doomed to be second rate at best.

I talked to bride after bride. I listened to each of them and what they had to say. Most wanted to be more frugal, but didn’t know how.  With all the pressure they were under it was easy to have even a simple wedding turn into a nightmare of confusion.

We maintained that  we hoped they would put as much time, thought, effort, and energy into their marriage as they were the wedding. 

THERE IS NO REASON TO SPEND A FORTUNE ON A WEDDING!

It does not make you more married, nor does it make any guarantees about your marriage

People can end up basically buying their wedding presents.

Think about it. 

You spend $20,000  – $30,000 on a wedding for who?  You? The groom? The guests?

Wouldn’t that money be better spent on a down payment for a home? Not starting out your life together in debt, throwing a party for other people you may or may not ever see again.  We’ve heard of couples that were divorced before the wedding was paid for.

The biggest one in our little town is the story of the Daddy who built his little girl and her husband a grand home.  5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, circular drive, 4 car garage, etc. They came home from the honeymoon on different planes, and the house went up for sale without either of them ever setting foot in it.

So my point, and yes I do have one, is to keep it real.

Do what you can afford and what is reasonable. 

 I was a June bride.  We got married in Reno by a Justice of the Peace with long white hair and a white robe, used a coupon we got at a gas station on our way up. I wore a $12 dress from TJ MAXX ( I still have it ) , and he wore black jeans and a short sleeved shirt . We have had more than our share of ups and downs.  This June is our 20th anniversary, and we are sitting across our desks from each other as I write this. 

You can get a great wedding dress at a variety of places.  Saintvi has some great links on her site and there are tons more on the internet.  Look at craigslist, ebay, consignment shops, outlets – like the Jessica McClintock outlet, and thrift shops. Shop end of season sales and get a great deal on a dress just because the manufacture isn’t carrying the style over to the next season. You can order some bridesmaids dresses in white or ivory if your wedding is less formal and that saves a ton!  Just watch the sizing – for some perverse reason formal and bridal sizes run 1 – 3 sizes smaller that what you normally wear.  If you wear a 12 you might need a 16 in a wedding dress.. sick isn’t it? 

Corsets/undergarments – hit Lane Bryant, Victoria’s secret or  even Ross or  Marshall’s.  Unless you are really going to wear it again, you just want it to work for the day so why spend a fortune on it? But make sure you have all the undergarments and your shoes BEFORE you have the dress altered.  Trust me on this one

For bridesmaid/maid of honor dresses  You can do the same thing, plus shop holiday selections, lots of dresses in a run of sizes and colors, and sale prices are a real bonus. 

Flowergirls, ring bearers….. Lots of stores have great holiday dresses and suits that are perfect for this.  Burlington coat factory, Macy’s, Sears, religious stores, those little kiosks at the mall, kids resale shops, even the outdoor auctions have have tuxedos and fancy dresses that are a fraction of the cost and are just perfect .

Shoes are the worst !  They cost a fortune, are usually not comfortable – thats why they try to sell you bridal slippers – and no one ever wears them again.  Easter and summer are great for shoes.  Payless shoes sells dyeable shoes at a fraction of the bridal shop prices, and again, if you aren’t going to be wearing them again why spend $100 on a pair of shoes for maybe six hours?

Tiara, headpiece, and/or veil:  You can make a great veil with shimmer tulle, chiffon, or a light net.  That is all a veil is. $5 worth of net attached to a comb and a few pearls, rhinestones, or other embellishments and TA DA you have shaved at least $50 off your costs.  My daughter, bless her heart,  never could figure out what she wanted to do about a veil.  At the last minute we just cut the tulle and stuck it on her head under her headpiece, and it looked great, almost vintage.

Flowers:  Make your own bouquet and your attendants bouquets. Have a flower making party and have fun doing it!  corsages are super easy, and boutonnieres are a no brainer.  Get the flowers at the nursery, farmers market, or you can even order them from the grocery store.  Again, they are lovely and a fraction of the cost.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not against having the wedding of your dreams, with a beautiful dress and all the trimmings.  I am just against it becoming  a nightmare of unrealistic expectations, bills and stress.

Enlist your family and friends, as you can, they usually want to be involved and the whole event will take on a more personal tone if you do this.

Remember the most important thing:  You are doing this because you love your intended and want to build a life and family with them.  No matter what you wear, what flowers you carry, how you wear your hair, or what food you serve your guests – at the end of the day it is just you two starting out on a grand adventure.  Above all – Enjoy it!

I am happy to answer any/all questions and provide info as I can. 

So this weekend is my psuedo daughter Miss J’s Birthday

She is 26 on the 5th

We are having about about 15 people over for dinner, maybe a couple more –

Who knows if more drop in – always room at Badnana’s table

Per the Birthday girl, Chinese food is on the menu

This is the menu so far:

Shu Mai

Egg Rolls

Pot Stickers

Chow Mein

Fried Rice

Chinese Cabbage Salad

Dan Dan Noodles w Chicken

Black Bean Chicken with Asparagus

Bourbon Chicken

Honey Walnut Shrimp

Szechwan Shrimp

Firecracker Beef

Peking Pork

Red Velvet Cake with Black frosting

Mud Slide Ice Cream Cake

Fortune Cookies

Almond Cookies

We will have some baked chow mein noodles as snack laying around too

That’s it. 

Did I miss anything?

 Any suggestions? 

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The weekend list:

(I have already gotten started on it! )

Finish food list

Grocery shopping

Laundry

Sweep and mop all floors

Vaccum our bedroom and office

Finish Miss J’s gift

Sort clothing to go to shed or shop

Dr. appts on Monday